i hate you for hurting me. i hate how easy for you it is to just leave me hanging. i'll tell you what.. it is the rudest thing to make someone get used to something and, poof, one day you wake up and decide to take that thing away.

i got the feeling you weren't interested in any way but you could've been frank and just told me instead. yes, that probably wouldn't hurt less, but then at least i wouldn't wait for you to reach out to me again. at least then i'd know you were done. because you disappearing without any warning is killing me. it kills me that i still have the smallest bit of hope that maybe tomorrow will be the day that you'll change your mind. it kills me to know that if that happens, it won't take me a second to run to you and hug you and accept you as if nothing happened.

(so this is what it feels like to hate AND want something so bad at the same time)

it bothers me how i know it's you even if i only see you from behind. how i look for you in a crowd even if the odds that you'd be there were minute. how i wish it was your name that would pop up every time my phone beeps. it bothers me —hurts me, even— because i know we don't share the same sentiments. 

FILM
holga | yashica

they say when you're with the person you like, you don't notice others anymore;
he's the only person you see, like everything else is a blur.

to me, it's the total opposite.
when i see you, i can't look straight
i never make eye contacts
i fear that my eyes may linger longer than they should if i did
i wish i looked at you as much as i could though,
because now i'm not certain if i'll ever get the chance again.

she's waiting for that someone who will make her not think twice
she's starting to doubt if someone will ever come

do boys replay scenarios in their heads as much as girls do?

do boys notice as much details as girls do when they talk?

do boys discreetly search for the girl they like in a sea of people?

do boys get butterflies, too?

do boys feel these too when they like someone?

i hope you like me

i hope you do

You're my biggest what-if

Not in a what-if-it-worked-out kind of way

But in a what-if-you-liked me kind of way

                                                               Which I think is sadder