i got the feeling you weren't interested in any way but you could've been frank and just told me instead. yes, that probably wouldn't hurt less, but then at least i wouldn't wait for you to reach out to me again. at least then i'd know you were done. because you disappearing without any warning is killing me. it kills me that i still have the smallest bit of hope that maybe tomorrow will be the day that you'll change your mind. it kills me to know that if that happens, it won't take me a second to run to you and hug you and accept you as if nothing happened.
(so this is what it feels like to hate AND want something so bad at the same time)
